The Collective Effort Newsletter: May 2021
Founder, The Boundary Boss
Alana Roshay is an award-winning advocate and intersectional feminist. She founded her coaching business, The Boundary Boss, to equip clients with life-affirming tools they can use to confidently advocate for themselves as well as set personal boundaries within their daily lives.
Her background also includes years of advocating for diversity and inclusion. Her ability to build inclusive professional and social environments are mainly due to her passion to actively develop diverse relationships and to recognize the contributions and talents of all people built on the foundation of respect and dignity. Through her life experiences, she's been able to detect the underlying root causes of disparities within our modern-day society. Alana's life's mission is to bring awareness and healing to the years of disparities that have negatively impacted communities of colors so that we can move towards rebuilding a more inclusive and racially equitable society.
Her extensive training in co-dependency, adult attachment styles, decolonized nonviolent effective communication and peace building has largely contributed to her curriculum. Further training and experience has been in anti-racism, racial healing and recovery, diversity and inclusion which encompasses Gender Inclusivity Training (Trans Can Work), CCEJ Foundations of Restorative Practices in Communities and CCEJ Healing Harms. She currently serves on the Public Safety Commission for the city of West Hollywood and has served on a variety of nonprofit committees. She is also the co-creator and co-host of The Consciousness Salon podcast.
Alana Roshay educates and empowers those who struggle with setting personal boundaries. Schedule a 25 minute discovery call today.
Theboundaryboss.com / info@theboundaryboss.com
Click here to schedule a free 25 minute discovery call with The Boundary Boss.
Intergenerational Trauma
Keri Anderson, MSW - ASW #92014
Registered Associate Clinical Social Work
@self_ker_therapy
Through my formative years, I can remember countless times that I reacted emotionally to a perceived injustice or was punished for not succumbing to the status quo. This is a regular occurrence for children of color that are in spaces where teachers and faculty are not culturally competent. Black and latinx children are often accused of either being too aggressive or noncompliant which results in exponentially high suspension rates. Unfortunately, this is a common experience for Black, Indigenous and people of color (BIPOC) that have had to react instinctively to survive.
During the 1950s & 60s, my family migrated from the south to Los Angeles in hopes of creating a safe haven to pursue the American dream. Unfortunately, they did not escape the legacy of historical trauma experienced by previous generations. Rodney King (1991) and George Floyd (2020) are reminders of how things have not changed with black lives and policing. Furthermore, discrimination while applying for jobs, buying homes, and receiving a quality education. Families that survive the oppressive socioeconomic systems of the south carry and transfer that trauma down to their offspring who in turn pass it down to theirs. This cycle of trauma between generations contribute to long term effects on health and welfare, also known as intergenerational trauma.
In marginalized communities’ intergenerational trauma has increased the likelihood of violence, abuse, malnutrition, mental and physical illness. These determinants are causal factors of stress that manifests as incomprehensible behaviors, addiction, chronic illness, and disease--leading to a shortened lifespan. There are also maladaptive behaviors which may result in physical ailments (digestive issues, cancers, heart disease, premature births, etc.) and mental health issues (anxiety, depression, addiction, etc.). As humans, environmental factors shape our biopsychosocial being. For many BIPOC, being in a constant state of survival mode is required in order to manage trauma and successfully function in society where we have been historically victimized for centuries. Although surviving is often celebrated, in hindsight it is living in a state of hypervigilance that is an acute danger to health. It is important to address these issues individually and collectively with culturally competent professionals to hear and support those that experience trauma to stop the cycle of maladaptive coping and behavior.
To combat maladaptive coping and behaviors due to intergenerational trauma, we must start by dismantling oppressive systems, namely White Supremacy! First, acknowledging our participation in a system that continues to harm BIPOC communities. Secondly, normalizing the need for mental health support in marginalized communities. Lastly, by embracing the need of community and interdependence so folks can obtain the support they need without feeling guilt and/or shame. These are just a few suggestions in an exhaustive list of needs to address intergenerational trauma that will enable a life of thriving for current and future generations.
https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/listing/keri-anderson-msw/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/keri-anderson-los-angeles-ca/747577
The Adultification of Black Girls
Tanay Hudson, LCSW, MA
@tanay.elyse
The saying “Protect Black Women” goes beyond police brutality. Research has shown that even as children, Black women didn’t receive the protection they deserved and required. According to research conducted by Georgetown Law, Black girls are victims of adultification, which comprises “contextual, social, and developmental processes in which youth are prematurely, and often inappropriately, exposed to adult knowledge and assume extensive adult roles and responsibilities within their family network.” In a New York Times article, A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez said adultification happens when “teachers, law enforcement officials and even parents view black girls as less innocent and more adult-like than their white peers. This perspective often categorizes black girls as disruptive and malicious for age-appropriate behaviors.”
The processes that comprise adultification occur in the home, school and our neighborhoods. Parentification is also something that contributes to the adultification of Black girls. In a study titled “An empirical study of parentification and personality,” parentification is defined as a "boundary distortion where the parental-child relationships become altered or reversed. Parentification is a result of struggling, sometimes dysfunctional families and has been viewed as necessary for the continuity and survival of the Black family.” Black girls often have to take on the household chores and caring for younger siblings when their parents are absent. This robs them of having a childhood where they should be able to engage in age-appropriate activities and relationships because their priority is taking care of their family when it shouldn’t be. Parentification forces children to age-up and focus on duties that they may not be capable of doing and negatively affects their development.
Not acknowledging mental health issues and providing therapeutic services also contributes to the adultification of Black girls. Due to lacking support and having to perform developmentally inappropriate tasks, their mental health is not a focus. Going to psychotherapy is also shunned in the Black community. A 2013 study found that 63 % of Black people felt that going to psychotherapy was a sign of weakness. Therefore, when a Black child voices their feelings they are dismissed or invalidated. This teaches them to ignore their feelings and mental health needs and distorts the idea of what it means to be “strong.” This causes the belief that speaking about your problems and feelings means that they are not strong and they begin to neglect their own pain because it is believed that it is not worthy of discussion.
Black girls are also criminalized more often at school. A 2014 report from Columbia Law School’s Center for Intersectionality and Social Policy Studies and African American Policy Forum reported that they are six times more likely to face suspensions for the same actions that white students commit. When this happens, Black girls are treated with less empathy and their age, feelings and circumstances are not taken into consideration regarding discipline. This reinforces the adultification process.
Going through adultification has a profound effect on a Black girls’ childhood and causes maladaptive habits and mental health issues during adulthood. Since Black girls are seen as not needing protection and taking care of mental health is stigmatized, they internalize these ideas and neglect their own needs and deem it being strong. They grow into adults and believe that dismissing their own pain and needs is necessary in order for them to be a "strong Black woman." This is a mindset that is physically and mentally detrimental to the Black woman.
During childhood, Black girls are more likely to be seen as deviants and they do not get second chances. They are forced to deal with punitive consequences and are not offered therapeutic support as often as they should be. This leads to trauma that is often buried away and reinforces the "strong Black woman" image. It is important to redefine what it means to be strong and understand that processing trauma, being vulnerable and being willing to seek help is not a sign of weakness. Having moments of what would be considered weakness is normal, it's just seen as unacceptable which is a problem. It's crucial to deal with the effects of adultification in psychotherapy in order to unlearn the unhealthy habits and harmful ideas that perpetuate the "strong Black woman" psyche. Seeking help, validating your experience and addressing childhood trauma has to be normalized and destigmatized so the idea of what it means to be a strong Black woman can be redefined.
We would like to share a very special thanks to The Gochman Family Foundation for their generous donation of $20,000 to The Collective Identity Mentoring. We thank you for investing in the future of young black women and girls.
Self-care
By Camille Tenerife, LMFT
What is self-care? It has become such a buzz phrase nowadays. Does it mean dining out at expensive restaurants? Getting a luxury massage? Buying that watch or jewelry you’ve always wanted?
Sure, these activities can be classified as taking care of yourself, but it is really important to make sure that you are not practicing over-indulgence or rationalizing impulsive behavior. Self-care is knowing what you need and giving it to yourself.
Let’s start with the basics, shall we? If you are hungry and notice your stomach growling, do you power through your lunch to get things done, or do you stop and eat a well-balanced meal? If you’re noticing that you are stressed out - do you keep doing the work, or do you take a break?
In this busy world, it is so easy to neglect our needs in exchange for productivity or crossing things off our list. I invite you to take a step back and reflect on how you fill your days. Are you engaging in any self-care activities? If not, here are some easy tips to get started!
Ask yourself what your 10-year old self needs
Now hear me out for a second. You probably don’t remember what your 10-year old self needs, heck you probably don’t remember what it was like to be 10! But that’s exactly my point. Because we’re surrounded by so many distractions, we tend to forget to check-in with ourselves. 10 year-olds will let you know what they need and what they want. So listen to your younger you. Some examples are taking a break from work by watching a funny show, eating your favorite flavored ice cream, or laughing with friends.
2. Connect with your community
We are social creatures! As human beings, we value companionship and need others to survive. I think most people can attest to this after the year of social distancing and being in quarantine. In fact, social connection can lead to lower levels of anxiety and depression. It can also help us receive empathy, increase self-esteem, and even strengthen our immune system. Let’s try and make this easy! Send a text message to an old friend or maybe revert back to snail mail.
Observe any changes in your mood after connecting with others.
3. Nature
There is something inherently healing about nature. If you live in the city like myself, it becomes a little bit difficult to move away from the buildings surrounding me. I take this as a challenge to go out and seek nature even more. Give it a try - start small by looking for trails around your neighborhood. Maybe the next vacation you plan, stop by a park or the ocean. According to Greater Good Magazine, psychologists show that people who spend more time in natural environments report higher levels of mental and physical well-being.
We all have a personal responsibility to take care of ourselves so that we can better show up not only for us but also for others. Self-care helps us lead healthier, happier, and more creative lives.
If you’d like to know more about self-care, you can contact Camille Tenerife, LMFT at camille@diversifiedtherapyla.com or at (424) 218-6492.
This month, we spoke with the African American Policy Forum (AAPF) to discuss the #SayHerName movement and the trauma that the erasure of Black women in the national conversation of victims of police brutality. If you want to learn more about the #SayHerName campaign and what it means, see our resources below.
Report from AAPF: Say Her Name: Resisting
Police Brutality Against Black Women
Instagram Live Conversation with Kimberle Crenshaw and Kerry Washington on #SayHerName
Written testimony by Kimberle Crenshaw and AAPF for Congressional Oversight Committee
NY Times Op-ed by Kimberle Crenshaw “You Promised You Wouldn’t Kill Me”
TED talk by Kimberle Crenshaw “The Urgency of Intersectionality.”